Nobody’s Right When Everybody’s Wrong is a reader-supported publication by Melissa Nadia Viviana; Author, Women’s Rights Activist, & Philosopher.
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If there’s one thing I’ve learned about the internet, it’s that our comments create permission structures for other commenters to say the same things.
If we’re vulnerable, other people can be vulnerable. If we’re overcritical, other people can become overcritical. If we’re nuanced, other people can find nuance.
And when one person casually misinterprets the meaning or message of a post, it can lead to multiple people reading the comments and misunderstanding the post the same way.
We are undeniably social creatures and we take cues from the crowd just as much as we do from the person on stage.
In the book Creating A Feminist Existence In The World, Sandrine Sanos writes:
That’s why I appreciate the block & hide comment feature on Bluesky & Substack. Because the earliest commenters often set the tone for future commenters. If it goes south in the beginning, it likely won’t turn around.
Every time I read a comment that doesn’t jive with the message intended, it’s not that I’m bothered that someone disagrees with me or that someone misunderstands me. And to be frank, if it was only one random comment, I’d let it slide.
But I’ve learned over the years that bad commenters are invited by bad commenters and the tone that they set almost always multiplies.
Once a single person has been led astray, it derails many future commenters. And it disrupts the pathway I was trying to set—which leads people on tangents that have nothing to do with the original post.
MOST arguments are deflections and derailments that distract from the original post. That keep people spinning away from the original message. And it’s painful to watch new commenters coming in and getting swept up in this unhealthy spiral.
But it’s also a tactic that trollers use, reliably—precisely because it has that power. They can sweep people up in tangents very quickly and pull them far away from the power and impact of the original message.
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